but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize