Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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