How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
