fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
