We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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