Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
