I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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