You don't have asthma, your pregnant
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
