this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The uberlube is also flammable
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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