i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I showed him my bush... on skype.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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