life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
