I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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