you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
