I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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