She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
