Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
