you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
