it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
