I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
