so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
