I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
