I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
