lets start a swedish sibling band together
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
