you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Randomize
