girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize