If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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