R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
