he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
