My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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