You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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