I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
