and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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