Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
