peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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