Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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