Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
