You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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