Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
