WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
