I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
