my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
