He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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