i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
