He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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