you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she smelled like a LAN party
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
