from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize