she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize