We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
