Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
