your parents love me but you hate me
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I smell like Dick and happiness
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
