im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
