Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
