i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
