problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
