WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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