Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
