She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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