I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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