Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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