is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The beers last night were like the tears from god
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
