you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
