she told me i tasted like america
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
